It’s being called one of the most disappointing summers in decades. I’m inclined to agree. I’ll count down my top ten films of the summer from the terrible, through the bad, the not-so-bad, the meh, then finally one or two good ones. First, a disaster film in every sense…
#10 – Independence Day: Resurgence
Independence Day is a nineties classic that we all share as a guilty pleasure. It’s corny and absurd, but also a ton of fun. When Will Smith says he’s the best man to pilot a UFO into space to blow up a mothership because “he’s aware of the ship’s manoeuvring capabilities”, we don’t groan at the stupidity, we cheer because that’s what we all want to see!
Independence Day: Resurgence is the most unnecessary sequel of the year, and it misses the mark by a long way. The action is generic, the characters boring, the writing cringeworthy. Crucially, it isn’t any fun. The first film had plenty of stuff wrong with it, but we were happy going along for the ride.
Rarely did I even break a smile during what could have been a shameless riot of action and comedy. Maybe I was at fault for actually having some expectations on what this film could have been. But that’s just it – it could have been exciting and glorious, a resurgence of the cheesy nineties action we all secretly crave. Instead, it felt more like a resurgence of something cheesy that I haven’t the heart to graphically describe.
#9 – The Secret Life of Pets
It stormed the box office, earning more in its opening weekend than the likes of Zootropolis and Inside Out. My only explanation for this is that an underground community of eight year olds too young to remember the magic of Toy Story plotted to simultaneously buy tickets to this film to sabotage us boring adults’ hopes of seeing decent animated films.
Seriously, there is no other explanation. And if you like this film then accept my apology and pleas for you to go out and watch Wall-E, The Lego Movie, or anything by Studio Ghibli.
#8 – Ghostbusters (2016)
It’s a film I had mixed feelings about. Where ID: Resurgence was the year’s most unnecessary sequel, Ghostbusters was the most unnecessary reboot. Having said that, I hoped the film would succeed to encourage Hollywood to produce more high profile films with female-led casts. (A quick look at nearly every other film on this list is enough to see the need for such films.)
Sadly, I’m in the same camp as many – it isn’t so bad that it deserves all the hatred, but certainly isn’t good enough to stand on its own. With too many cameos and fan service, it reaches the stage where all its jokes fall flat unless it’s literally referencing the original. I’ll never sit through it again because, hell, if I wanted fan service and references to a better film, I may as well just watch that better film.
#7 – Suicide Squad
This might go down as my most disappointing film of 2016. I can still watch the trailers for this film and get excited. It sounds right up my street: Evil people doing violent, dark stuff to accomplish something good in a dodgy, crooked way. And Will Smith is in it. What’s not to like?
Well, the end result is poor. They took an exciting premise and shoved it through the same, summer movie meat grinder that mushes all hopes of character development and spits out faceless disposable hordes before a skybeam finale. It was boring. But most infuriating is that there’s a better film in my mind that I wanted to see. I’m currently working on how I’d have written Suicide Squad – stay tuned for the update.
#6 – The BFG
This is one that I shouldn’t feel bad about having high expectations for. I’m up for anything directed by Steven Spielberg and scored by John Williams – the pair have a talent for creating special moments of awe and wonder. This ought to have been perfect for The BFG, a film about a secret giant-inhabited world and one giant who captures and delivers dreams.
While the film starts out promising with an awesome first sequence where our heroine is kidnapped, it lags in the second act. This is something that should never have happened – we’re lost in a magical, otherworldly place. And yet, I never felt any of that magic. For that reason, it all felt slow and flat.
Once they finally get to Buckingham Palace, the film picked up again, and I enjoyed it right through to the end. Sadly, it was too little too late for me, and that unfortunate lull in the second act means I’ll probably never watch it again.
So we’re halfway through and there’s been nothing great. But if you really want proof of my disappointment with this summer, wait till you see what comes next.
Magoo's Reviews 