I’m pissed off. First-time viewers of Friends have taken to Twitter to rant about the show’s misogynistic and homophobic story lines. Common criticisms include “The One with the Male Nanny”, in which Ross struggles to accept that the nanny he hires is male and even asks if he’s gay; the lack of non-white characters; and the frequent fat-shaming of Monica.

I’m not familiar enough with Friends to weigh in on whether these critiques hold water. Regardless, what bothers me is that, while I believe it’s important to reflect and criticise, it’s a bit late to do anything about it now. The best we can do is smear its reputation. But to change the show for the better required criticism at the time. You can argue that these issues stand out more in 2018 — we’re all for equality and diversity and we’re all woke now. But are we? While a shitstorm of backlash washes over a show that ended over a decade ago, I’m left wondering — where is this fierce upheaval when it comes to the current most-popular sitcom, The Big Bang Theory?

It’s no secret I despise the criminally unfunny show (I mean, watch it for yourself and tell me it’s funny). If you’re one of the millions that enjoy it, I can only apologise, because you’re beyond all help. But while a few critics have called Big Bang out on its misogyny, it still enjoys extraordinary ratings. Season 9 broke 20 million views on average per episode, and season 10 — the latest season — sat high at 19 million.

Big Bang is a show where four men drive camera-wielding remote control cars over to a woman to peep up her skirt. Big Bang is a show where its women are slut-shamed and encouraged to display their breasts and flirt with colleagues to further their boyfriends’ careers. Big Bang is a show with four insufferably sexist male leads.

Sheldon is the outspoken misogynist monster who calls Marie Curie, one of the most celebrated female scientists of all time, an “honourary man“. Rajesh is the drunken sexual harasser who indecently exposes himself attempting to impress a protesting woman. Howard is the serial stalker of women who arranges for a drone to fly over the home of some supermodels to spy them sunbathing naked. And Leonard is the enabler the other three’s behaviour.

Now, I’ve picked out some particularly incriminating examples but they’re all emblematic of broader character traits. Rather like how Ross questioning the sexuality of a male nanny is a damning example of his potential underlying sexism and homophobia. Why does Big Bang get a free pass while Friends comes under fire?

Cultural critic Jonathan McIntosh is a much more knowledgeable person than me, and I highly recommend his video, The Adorkable Misogyny of The Big Bang Theory. He not only provides more examples of Big Bang‘s sexism, but argues that it gets away with it through a combination of nerdy stereotypes and a technique called “lampshading”.

The tl;dw is that because the protagonists are flaming balls of Hollywood nerd stereotypes, their sexism is viewed as harmless. They’re not really creepy or sexist. They’re just socially awkward but nice guys at heart. Nerds will be nerds. This is harmful because not only does it fail to address that sexism is sexism regardless of the agent, it also propagates damaging stereotypes. It’s less of the blatant “Blurred Lines” rapey sexism and more the subtle Ed Sheeran “nice guy” sexism.

Lampshading is where writers call attention to their work’s flaws. Basically, it’s when a character calls out sexist behaviour. But that isn’t enough — simply acknowledging sexist behaviour isn’t the same as commenting on or damning it. Especially when the sexism is always depicted a harmless punchline. Here’s an exchange between Sheldon and Janine, a black woman, the head of HR where Sheldon works:

Janine: Dr [Sheldon] Cooper, you said things to your employee that you just cannot say in the workplace.

Sheldon: Like what?

Janine: According to Ms. Jensen, you said that she was a slave to her biological urges . . .

Sheldon: Oh, I see the confusion here. Alex thought I was singling her out — no, I meant that *all* women are slaves to their biological urges, you know? Even you. You’re a slave.

. . .

Sheldon: I don’t see why I’m the one being persecuted here . . . I heard Rajesh refer to you as “brown sugar” . . . In his defence, that wasn’t racist. He’s also brown.

Full clip. I suppose “it’s funny because it’s Sheldon”.

I’m not saying Friends shouldn’t be critiqued for its problematic writing. But if we’re ticked off that our favourite 90s show doesn’t hold up, we should be fucking furious about Big Bang. Direct the anger at shows that are currently on air, especially ones so popular and successful.

Or maybe we should wait fifteen years after it has finished. After it has added to its decade-long run. After it has added to its collection of nine Primetime Emmy awards. After it’s too late to do anything but tarnish its reputation. Before joining together on Twitter in outrage over something that will inevitably and incorrectly be referred to as a product of its time.

Header image credit: CBS

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