It’s March, which means Oscar season is over for us in the UK. But don’t fret – we’ve been treated to a crime thriller with an excellent cast including powerhouses Woody Harrelson, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Aaron Paul, and Kate Winslet. Not to mention that it’s directed John Hillcoat, someone who understands character drama and knows how to put together an action sequence. It’s a sure bet for some early year fun… right?

Triple 9 tells the story of a team of criminals who rob a bank. Two members of the group are crooked cops. After the mission their reward is withheld, and they are strong-armed into carrying out another, more difficult job. However, the job is so difficult that they determine it can only be done by killing a cop.

It sounds thin on the surface but the most frustrating thing about Triple 9 is that there’s a good story in there somewhere. One of the crooked cops, Marcus, is given a new police partner, Chris (Casey Affleck). The group decides that Chris will be sacrificed. Boom – instant tension, as Chris and Marcus become close, Marcus has to make the tough decision as to whether Chris really ought to die for the sake of a heist.

Except the film doesn’t explore this nearly enough. Instead, the film has no central character and opens in such a hurry that it skips over why we should care about anyone involved. Though there are some great unpredictable moments, as there should be in a thriller, they never stick with us or carry the film. For that, we need investment in our characters.

But the characters form the biggest flaw of Triple 9. There are far too many. Imagine trying to write a story – you know how it’ll end and you know specific pivotal events that’ll get you there. If you’re a lazy writer, you’ll have a different character trigger each of these events. But that means establishing the characters early, and the result is a total mess where none of your characters are given nearly enough screen time.

This is why half the characters are only given a single obvious attribute that is used to trigger the event the plot demands. Aaron Paul’s character is “the drug addict”. Even worse, the other half of the characters are given traits purely to disguise how blank they are – Casey Affleck’s character development begins and ends with “chews gum”.

And so the plot feels like it was written backwards. Many thriller plots are, I imagine, but the role of film is to make these carefully planned events feel natural and spontaneous. Good characters carve their own way through their dilemma. Poor ones are there to serve the plot alone without an arc to speak of.

So what about the action? Well, it’s few and far between, and entirely unmemorable. Don’t watch it if it’s all you’re looking for. Advertised as a heist film, there are no planning scenes or surprise twists. The only bits of action come in the form of shootouts, and even then the poor editing and laughably atrocious police conduct is distracting. They invade houses carrying only pistols, are out-run by overweight Mexicans, and get stuck under chain-link fences. If only there was more, then the film might have earned a recommendation for “so bad it’s funny”. Sadly, it’s just boring.

Maybe if the film didn’t take itself so seriously I might have had a better time with it, or even if the mood was consistent. One moment it looks slick and styled as each gang member dons his own custom balaclava. The next, we get a by-the-numbers police precinct briefing scene and a comically scarred Ejiofor displaying sincere bouts of rage. And after an indulgent opening credits sequence and one of the most inexplicable freeze-frame final shots I’ve ever seen, any scope for having shameless fun was lost.

Triple 9 is a perfect example of how good cast does not entail good film. You know why these actors earn such good reputations? Because of their performances when they play interesting, well-written characters. We don’t care if it’s Harrelson or Jai Courtney playing a stale character, the result is the same.

You’re not watching it for the heists, the performances, or by the end, if anything could have been made of that one good idea. So don’t watch it at all.

2-2

(GRADES: Both are out of 10. The left is an objective score based on its artistic merit, the right is how much I personally enjoyed it.)

READ MORE:

Click here for my best and worst films of 2015!

Find out more about me as a reviewer here: Get To Know Me As a Reviewer

Check out my weekly film reviews here: Reviews

Follow me @MagoosReviews for updates!