Well, here it is. I thought it would suck. But you know what? I wanted to be wrong. I wanted it to be good – the original Ghost in the Shell is a cult classic that still holds up today. Unfortunately it’s only well-known among diehard sci-fi fans. A good remake could spread some positive awareness of the franchise. I watched it with an open mind, without comparing it to the original, as it deserved a chance to be judged on its own merit. So, did it suck?
Ghost in the Shell is the live action adaptation of the anime of the same name. Set in the future when cybernetic enhancements are commonplace, it follows Major Mira Killian, a counter-terrorism officer. After a near-fatal accident, her brain is placed inside an entirely artificial cyborg body. She cannot remember her previous life, until a dangerous hacker sets her on the path to uncovering her identity.
And it suuuuucks. I can’t say I’m disappointed – I quashed my hopes months ago. But it’s still a shame that this bombshell will be many filmgoers’ first – and only – experience with this incredible universe and story.
Good stuff first. Ghost in the Shell boasts some incredible visuals. But then, that’s what you get for spending over a hundred million dollars and hiring a director best known for making TV adverts. Still, there’s decent production design that blends neatly with the CGI elements for the most part. Some bits stick out – there’s a moment in the finale where the Major runs up some falling rubble I got flashbacks of this shit:
Credit: New Line Cinema
The soundtrack is good, too. I’ve been a fan of Clint Mansell ever since I saw the early works of his frequent collaborator Darren Aronofsky. So at the very least, there’s always something nice to look at and something interesting to listen to. Something I thought for sure I’d be praising was Scarlett Johansson’s performance, but I found her to be pretty lacklustre.
One more thing I’ll add is that there was some effort to develop a link between the Major and the film’s antagonist. I admired the effort. If I’ve got a complaint about the original, it’s that the ending, while fascinating thematically, always came off as sudden to me.
So, speaking of themes, this adaptation totally dumbs down everything intelligent and nuanced in the original. Sometimes, that comes in the form of building a futuristic cyberpunk universe and telling a story about consciousness and identity only to end without saying anything interesting. Other times, it’s in the spoon-feeding dialogue. One of the first things a character says is more or less: “We made you a body, a shell, but you’re still alive in there, you have a ghost.” Oh. Thanks. After seeing the title twice in the opening credits I thought you’d let me piece that together myself.
I wish that was the last time I rolled my eyes. But no, the spelling out of worldbuilding concepts goes on and on. Characters sit around and discuss their enhancements for little reason other than to clue the audience in on what’s going on. I understand the need for exposition, but they were one step away from going full Malcolm in the Middle and turning to us directly to inform us of the plot.
It might be excusable if the writing was good. Instead, the film chucks a dozen characters at us for five minutes and expects us to give a shit about a hacker who threatens to upset the balance. And it goes from bad to worse towards the end where one scene is so totally absurd and poorly written that it was unintentionally hilarious and I laughed out loud.
And boy, does it take a long time to get there. The original was aware of its minimal plot, so chose to cram as much as possible into its 80-minute runtime. The remake drags, inserting the odd action scene while failing to add any sort of tension or reason to care for what’s going on.
The biggest problem of all is that the writers clearly didn’t understand what made the source material so good. They throw in some of the same visual motifs that appear in the anime, but changes in the plot and the ending mean that they don’t pay off or make sense. This lack of awareness is summed up in the closing monologue, where the spoken words literally contradict what happened over the course of the story.
Honestly, in its own right, Ghost in the Shell is a boring, plodding thriller filled with people you won’t care about and with nothing interesting to say about its deep and complex subject matter. Only its pretty visuals will keep you awake. Compared to the seminal 1995 anime, it’s an abomination that threatens to upend the original’s stellar reputation. For this reason, I cannot abide it.
(GRADES: Both are from 0 to 10. The left is an objective score based on the film’s merit, the right is my personal enjoyment.)
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