After a sloppily written but exciting penultimate episode, Game of Thrones wraps up another season. And it’s alright. Probably the worst finale barring season five’s but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to discuss and praise.

So… We Meet Again

Credit: HBO

Almost all major characters meet up in the Dragonpit. And what little I felt sums up how I feel about this entire season. There are so many relationships in this crowd that none of them are given enough attention to actually matter. All these pairings go by – Tyrion and Podrick, Brienne and the Hound, Tyrion and Bronn, Theon and Euron, Brienne and Jaime, the Hound and the Mountain – quickly, devoid of any substance. The only interesting interaction comes when Brienne declares that the threat of the dead transcends loyalty to noble houses. And yet, it’s still inconsequential.

After Dany arrives in the manner of a hotshot CEO landing in a helicopter, discussions commence. I like this scene, Euron and the Hound speaking out of turn, Qyburn’s fascination with an undead hand – good stuff. It was a shame that shrewd negotiator Davos and coolly intelligent Varys were silent the entire time.

The best moment comes when Cersei demands that Jon bend the knee, only for him to refuse out of honour. A look of regret on Dany’s face – by insisting that Jon pledge to her, she might have secured her own doom.

The biggest downside to all of this is that we all guessed every twist before it happened. Of course Euron, with balls bigger than his boat, wasn’t terrified of the wight. Of course the Mountain wasn’t going to behead Tyrion. Of course Cersei wasn’t actually going to pledge allegiance to the cause against the dead. Had I written this scene, I’d have had it as a climax to an episode, rather like Tyrion’s trial in season four, not as an opener.

Later, Cersei lets Jaime in on his plan. Insulted and disturbed at Cersei’s disloyalty and absence of foresight, Jaime abandons her. Finally. We all developed sympathy for Jaime during his time with Brienne but lately he’s been Cersei’s bitch. My respect for him was waning. But in that moment, I did not want him to die. It was the only scene of true tension in the episode. Of all people, Cersei could have killed the man she loves for leaving her. Oh, and give Lena Heady an Emmy already.

Middle finger to Littlefinger

Credit: HBO

So, as it turns out, the Stark sisters were playing Littlefinger. I still stand by what I said last week – it doesn’t make sense. Entire scenes last episode were dedicated to Arya mentally torturing Sansa, and why? For one reason alone: To trick the audience. This isn’t Ocean’s Eleven. This should have been a season one-esque game of wits. We should have been biting our nails at the prospect of Sansa executing Arya. Instead, there’s some more ambiguous phrasing then the tables are turned on Littlefinger.

And that’s not to say it wasn’t a great scene. Aiden Gillen gets a lot of flak for his inconsistent accent but his performance in this scene, from utterly stunned to sobbing and begging for mercy, was absolutely on point. I only wish his death carried more impact – he’s done basically nothing all season and this arc never got the time it deserved.

Theon

Credit: HBO

Jon and Theon finally get a decent scene together. I’ve found Theon’s lack of involvement this season disappointing, as one of the only conflicted characters struggling with his morally ambiguous past left in the show. And I have to say, that beach scene was one of my favourite scenes in the episode. It was thrilling to see his time as Reek turned to his advantage. Having endured such extreme physical trauma, there was nothing that Iron Islander could do to hurt him. Certainly not by kicking him in the bollocks. While I don’t care so much about Yara, I hope for Theon’s sake he finds her.

Together

Credit: HBO

Dany rejects Jorah’s warnings and decides to sail with Jon to the North. Oh yeah, one ticket to bone city, first stop, incestville. And it’s all narrated by Bran Stark beating us over the head with information about Jon’s past that we already know. Sure, it was nice to learn Jon’s name, and nice for Samwell to find out, but jeez, leave some room for subtlety. And what was Tyrion sulking about? Well, I don’t buy this love triangle idea that I’ve seen floating around. I think Tyrion is concerned that this romance is a distraction.

Also, I hate Bran. Initially, I had high expectations for his character. Will he warg into a dragon? Can he warg into other people? Now, he’s just a cheap way for the writers to explain shit. Littlefinger played the game perfectly, and lost because Bran can literally look into the past. That’s cheating! Instead of thinking of a creative way to unearth the truth about Jon’s parentage and Rhaegar and Lyanna’s secret love, they simply have Bran reveal it. And don’t you dare bring up that “Bran is the Night King” bullshit.

Hole in the Wall

Credit: HBO

The Night King blows open Eastwatch and marches his army through. It took sixty-seven episodes for the dead to arrive in Westeros, now our heroes have six episodes to deal with it. How can the ending possibly satisfy, you ask? Eh, it probably won’t.

In Conclusion

A good enough episode that tied up most of the story arcs to leave us wanting more. It’s a shame that the show is no longer the show we fell in love with. Once so full of intrigue, betrayal, and morally grey characters, now there is an ultimate evil, extravagance at the expense of good writing, and rushed, tensionless storytelling.

Ask yourself this: Which episode made you feel the most? I mean, really, was anyone nervous during that negotiation scene? I used to ache with anxiety every time Tywin and Tyrion were in the same room. Did anyone think last episode’s battle would end any way other than our heroes escaping? The outcome of the Battle of Blackwater was entirely unpredictable – imagine the direction the show would have taken had Stannis won! The show once thrived on unpredictable and heavy consequences to our character’s difficult decisions, and the subversion of common fantasy tropes. Now it’s a battle of good vs evil. And that’s not to say I’m not enjoying it – it’s still excellent TV with beyond-a-joke high levels of production value. But it’s not why I fell in love with Game of Thrones.

For me, there are a few must-haves for next season. I want a half-episode dedicated entirely to the Night King’s past. It might be late in the game, but adding some motivation and personality to the show’s biggest villain might heighten the intrigue somewhat. I want all of this Lord of Light stuff cleared up – resurrections, prophecies, smoke babies – magic, or a god watching over it all? I want Varys to be a character again. I do not want a Dragonball Z-style showdown between two dragons where they breathe two colours of fire at each other that clash in the middle. And finally, I want a horrendously dark ending. The good guys should win, but at a terrible cost, and in a way none of us have seen coming.

Thanks to all who have kept up with these reviews – they’ve been a fun weekly experiment for me. Do you agree with my thoughts on season seven?

Check out my other reviews here:

Episode One: Dragonstone

Episode Two: Stormborn

Episode Three: The Queen’s Justice

Episode Four: The Spoils of War

Episode Five: Eastwatch

Episode Six: Beyond the Wall

Header image credit: HBO